This is my first post in the You and God category of Olaedo!
Now, those that know me personally know that I’m not some kind of (as us Nigerians would say) holy-holy, sister-in-Christ person. I like to see myself as ‘in the world, but not of the world’. And I’m just doing my own bit in helping others see that you don’t have to change all of your personality because you’re a Christian. All you need to do is change the parts that wrong God… and most times, those parts of us that wrong God are the parts of us even we know we need to get rid of.
So sit back, RE-lax and read!
I’ve realised something about the way most people (including me) react to religious write-ups. People just skim down the write-up and stop when a word or sentence catches their interest, but read on when they didn’t see what they expected. (I know what I’m saying is true). Now, I know a handful of people already do this for regular posts, but it’s a lot more rampant when religious posts are concerned.
And because of this, if you’re reading this and you write religious articles, I have to say that you should conform your articles to suit the short attention span of people. We live in a world where people want to read what will be relevant to their lives, not some sentimental, over-zealous bible-verse-crammed article.
It’s your choice if you want to pour out your entire soul into one article without bothering if it will actually make an impact in today’s society, but know that only few people will read it and be changed by it. And the ‘few’ you might now claim are the important ones to you, might just consist of people like you who turn one single tittle into an article of 2,000 words where you just beat around the bush and stuff bible verses all over the place.
Let me tell you that if as a religious writer, your articles don’t make an impact in the lives of unbelievers or ailing believers, you have done nothing. Listen, God conforms His message with every passing generation. God does not change His message, He just gives it a different packaging, so that it can appeal to the set of people it is being preached to. Even Saint Paul said it in 1 Corinthians 9:20-23.
In fact, this should be the motto of every evangelist.
Even Jesus did it. He didn’t always have plain sermons, sometimes he taught in parables, he told stories. Why? ‘Cause people liked stories, and, honestly, you tend to remember and learn more from a story than from a plain, old sermon.
Now, before I start to beat around the bush, all I want to say is that religious writers, preachers and all evangelists of the Word should learn to study their audience before dishing out an article or a sermon. If it’s young people you’re addressing, speak our language; if it’s adults, speak to appeal to their interests. It’s not all about all the articles we’ve ever written, or all the places we’ve ever gone to preach, it’s all about the people you’ve helped have a change of heart, the souls you’ve saved.
So there you have it.
I think this is a nice message to all evangelists out there (including me!). Are you a religious blogger or a person who helps people see God’s light in any way? I’d really love to hear what you have to say about presenting the Word in a way it will interest your audience and change them; so leave a comment, please! And even as I know some people in the world today are onlookers, or (as us Nigerians would say) aren’t jim jim, concerning God and religion, God doesn’t select, all He does is give us inspiration and truth that we can use to get through life; so I urge you to look out for more articles in the You and God category (or any other religious blogs that strike your interest) and keep listening to what God is using us to say to you.
Just trying to follow God’s will and do the right things, too. 😘
… is what I would have said if today was actually my sweet sixteen.
Due to a few setbacks here and there, I was unable to publish this post on my birthday (which was some months ago) 😞😥😓. But, hey, it’s part of life, yo.
Okay, over to the post:
We all know that a sweet sixteen is the most important of all girl birthdays.
When a girl turns sixteen, she has come of age, she has officially become a young woman. And ‘today’, I become all that.
I remember that time in my life, back when I was younger, that I looked upon the age sixteen and thought: “Sixteen is such a big age!” because I knew a sixteen-year-old was not a child anymore.
Before I carry on, permit me to roll back to some of my best years while growing up:
3 years: My first best year. My younger brother was born when I was this age, and I was so much bigger than my age that people thought I was five!
9 years: At this age, I believe I was my fullest self. I was cheerful, very chubby, smart, a bit of an introvert (as I always have been, I think) and at my creative best. It was at nine that I gave up trying to learn to ride a bicycle because of a very embarrassing accident with one! When I look back at age nine, I say that the person I was then was the real me, and that I’ll try to get back that me to a hundred percent (minus the ‘very chubby’ part o).
12 years: It’s not like it’s one of my favorite years, but at this age, I was in JSS2, and that class has been my best so far throughout secondary school. I have so many good, bad, embarrassing memories from this year!
13 years: At thirteen, my best friend and I became real friends. It was also my best friend that ‘dared’ me to go into what I like to call ‘here-and-now coding’, after I had decided to become a programmer (still at thirteen). At thirteen, I made a lot of memories with my best friend.
At thirteen, I was in JSS3, a class where I lived out one of my purest years in secondary school. I say ‘purest’ because it was in this year that I felt like I was really in control of myself, didn’t bend to peer pressure, and enjoyed academic excellence.
15 years: At fifteen, I started Olaedo, a blog where I help teens like me bring out their gold and get better outlooks on certain things about life as a teen.
I’m still counting… still want to cross the marks of other ages, and add to this favorites list.
I’ve always viewed ‘coming of age’ as a big leap, a higher step. And maybe it is. When someone has come of age, I believe the person should be able to claim a few of these as part of their personality:
She should know who she is.
This just means that you should be able to clearly verbalize the kind of person you are, what you like and dislike, what you believe in and what you do not; you should know your limits as a person, but never get stuck in a rut, only doing things you know won’t task you that much. Risks are their own kind of spice, and you’ll never really live without using them once or twice. Know who you are, know your limits as a person, but never fail to try and do new, outside-the-box things.
She should be confident in her personality, and always stand up for herself.
Accept your flaws and imperfections – which don’t even exist in the eyes of those who truly care about you. You may not be like everyone around you (I certainly am not), but you still aren’t alone. Bend down and count all the ‘hidden’ people in your life that make you feel loved and happy – no matter how frequently you see them or how few they are.
And in times when people or situations are making you feel like an oddball for refusing to conform to their way of life, gather up the courage to push back and defend who you have come to be. It’s hardest to do in times of doubt, when it seems like you’re alone, but it shows that you don’t need the fake likes and compliments of other people to feel good about yourself and your achievements.
She should have found God and followed Him.
Prove me wrong if you can, but in almost all Nigerian Christian families, moms are the propellers of the family’s spiritual life. I’m not making this point just because of that fact, though, but we girls should know that knowing God is a very important part of our development.
I admit that I push Him aside many a time and go after things He’s told me not to, but I was always find my way back to Him as He leads me back with grace. All you need to do is sincerely pray for Him to be your guide through life, ‘cause the heart of the journey is yet to be reached. I advise praying with Psalms 32 and 27 (The Living Bible version, preferably).
She should have started making baby steps towards her chosen career.
I first wanted to be a musician, and then a writer, and then a fashion designer, and now a software engineer. Choosing career paths and working towards them are not for the weak. It takes a lot to be serious-minded, focus on getting good grades and getting any career-related experiences you can before you jump into the real deal.
I, for example, take online coding courses to ground me on software development in preparation for my career ahead. Do something here and now that will get you grounded in your career choice before you begin the course proper.
She should be able to walk away from people and situations that threaten her self-esteem and peace of mind.
Don’t try to live up to the expectations of other people. Live your life, gaining all experiences you should have – in ways you know are good and right. Walk away from people who constantly bring you down, make you doubt yourself and make you want to do things that cause your mind unrest. But before you do, I advise you leave them with a few words on how you really feel about them.
She should have a confidant or best friend.
This isn’t compulsory, even I can’t boast of a best friend. But try to find out that/those person/s of value that you can always pour out your heart to and who will be there for you. I know real friends are scarce nowadays.
She should have known her role and place in her family.
Whether you are the first-daughter-first-child, first-daughter-only-girl, middle-sister, last-sister, know that every girl has a role to play in her family; not just traditionally, but also in the business of bearing up your own pillar in order to help your parents make your family stand. Your presence has its own significance, so make sure that your role in your family is acknowledged because of how well you roll with it.
She should know her way around domestically.
Even as I talk of knowing your place in the family, you should know your place as a young woman, who will one day be a mommy yourself. Know how to cook – well. Know how to be organized and to organize others. Learn to be tolerant and peaceful, and to control your anger (if you are hot-tempered).
She should have defined her approach to relationships.
And even as we have different outlooks to relationships, there is one universal rule: Make sure you know your worth, so that you won’t find yourself looking for who you are in a guy, basing your identity on who he says you are.
Happy birthday to meeee! 🧀🧀🎈🎂🎉✨👧🏾😘 I hope that this post has put a little something more in your head about what it means to come of age.
Drop me a comment, telling me what you think of the post, or you can share your own wisdom concerning ‘coming of age’.
Or you could wish me a happy (very overdue) birthday! ✨✨🎉🎈👧🏾🎂
In my post, Welcome to WordPress, Olaedo! I said that I would do a post on the up’s and down’s of blogging on Blogger, to save beginner bloggers the headache I and many other bloggers have experienced.
Let’s start at the very beginning.
While writing this post, the audience I had in mind was the beginner blogger. So let me first clear the air up about what a blog actually is.
A blog is a website made for the purpose of writing about things that are important to the blogger. Blogs can be made for different purposes:
A blog can be for the promotion of a business’ products or services, and is usually attached as a page on a business’ website.
A blog can be a business venture in itself. You might have heard of people who blog for a living. Well, people like that market their writing skills on their blogs (focused in a particular niche), and often have a page on their blog just for the layout of their services and pricing schemes (in the case of freelance writers).
Freelance writer: A writer who writes for organizations and businesses who hire him/her. He/she doesn’t work for a particular one, but works when called upon.
A blog can also be a space on the Internet for one to express his/her feelings on just about anything. Thus the term ‘personal blog’. A personal blog, like Olaedo, is not necessarily centered on profits or products or services. It is simply one where a person can come to share his/her experiences and ideas with other people (and hopefully get encouraging reactions).
Now that that’s done, I’d like to also put in that a blog can be made for blogging about anything and everything, or it can also be focused on a particular niche (category). Whether you wish to make blogging a business or you wish to have a personal blog, know that popular blog niches are:
Health and fitness
Blogging and SEO (Search Engine Optimization)
and the other less-popular niches.
Okay, I realise I’m starting to sound like one of those SEO blogs (no offense, but…gross). If you want to start up a niche blog and wanna know all the kinks and konkies, head on to this article on this very reader-friendly site:
So having cleared the air about what a blog is, types of blogs, and niches, I move into what this post’s tittle promises… with genuine pride.
Blogger vs WordPress
This comparison of Blogger and WordPress will show why YOU SHOULD NOT BLOG ON BLOGGER.
Sorry, I’ll rephrase:
My experience blogging on Blogger was bad, really, and I just want to save beginners the same stress. Here’s why you shouldn’t choose Blogger:
(*Much better ^-^ *)
Blogger is slow. The speed of loading pages on Blogger is abysmal. I remember how I was in a rush and I wanted to quickly check out something on my blog. Because of its slowness, I had to abandon what I had to check out and be on my way.
Blogger’s customization tools are not too good. Notice I said ‘not too good’. Not ‘bad’ or ‘terrible’. Its tools are good, generally, but you would be better off using WordPress’ block-based customization tools.
Blogger is too technical.For someone ike me who codes and knows about web design, I can deal with Blogger’s technicality, but for the everyday person, it can be kind of a handful (at first, though). But with WordPress, almost every technicality is taken care of by default.
Even though I’ve been using WordPress for just some months, I’ve already seen the clear difference between the two blogging platforms. And I know advanced WordPress bloggers will agree with me.
WordPress places all its tools in one single menu. At a WP user’s dashboard, there’s a menu with all the shortcuts to all parts of your site. From Tools to Appearance to Stats to Comments, all the shortcuts to your site are all in one place.
Customizing and editing is easy-peasy. To be honest, when I first heard of WordPress’ block-based editor, I was like: what???. But when it actually got to customizing and editing, it was really fun. Just like Scratch (if you know it), you pick blocks or parts of the site from a menu and edit them. So much better when compared to Blogger’s Customizer.
It’s a lot less technical. Like I said, the techy stuff is halfway taken care of. But for the full packages and protections you’ll have to install some plugins (plugins are like features that give your site extra capabilities and functions). Still, if you don’t install plugins, your site will still work fine (I’m in that category).
Writing and designing posts can be done at once. WP an easily accessible media library (which is like a storage for all the pics you’ve uploaded to you blog). But what’s better is that it makes it easy to get photos from Pixels or Google Photos, so that writing posts and putting in pictures can be done all at once!
And that’s the stark comparison between WordPress and Blogger. I may not have gotten all the details of why Blogger is bad, but I certainly did not add. Sure, there are other platforms like Medium and Wix, but trust me, WordPress is by far the best. So make your choice, beginner blogger. 😊
And if you can’t pay for web hosting and the rest as a beginner blogger, you can always use the .wordpress subdomain for your site. With this subdomain, WordPress hosts your site free of charge (like mine and the sites of many other bloggers).
Did you once blog on Blogger and had experiences similar to mine? Are you new to WordPress too? Are you a beginner blogger? Do you have any questions? Please, drop me a comment, let’s discuss!
Yeah, this is my first official post on WordPress, and I’ve been beside myself waiting to make it, so here it is:
Life blogging on Blogger.
I started blogging around May this year on Blogger. Well, Blogger was kinda nice. Once I figured out how to change my blog’s theme (after having used the default Blogger theme for more than a month), my blog started looking nice, even pretty.
On Blogger, there was little opportunity for community, meaning that till date, I don’t have up to ten comments on my Blogger blog – and I’ve made up to, like, thirteen posts! It’s not like there isn’t the ‘Comment’ option over at Blogger, it’s just that WordPress makes commenting look so easy and appealing that you’ve just got to when compared to Blogger.
I’ll soon be making a post on the ups and downs of Blogger when compared to WordPress (to save beginner bloggers the stress of beginning with Blogger), so I’ll narrate all my experiences in the post-to-be.
How did I know WordPress existed?
Um… I first found out about WordPress from a bunch of random articles I came across on the net. But I first knew that I could have a blog on WordPress from Evin’s blog, A Curly Sue’s Ramblings. Her blog was so beautiful ❤ ❤ ❤ that it made me ready to forsake Blogger and never look back.
But I dawdled on Blogger for a few more months, trying to see if any good would come out of it before I relocated. But alas! I was more than disappointed – that and I was a bit intimidated by the infamous intricacies of setting up a WordPress site. I spent some more time Googling on how to go about it till I finally got the decisiveness to take it on.
Baby steps on WordPress.
It took me about a week to get the site’s design done – once I’d figured out how to get a “. wordpress.com” site. I wanted my design to be a minimalist one, simple. And I hope it is.
From there, I had to then stuff the blog up with meat and bones, thus this blog post was birthed. I’ve also put in old posts from my Blogger blog here and there, but it’s unfortunate that I couldn’t move my previous views and comments. 😦 But no worries, I’m sure I’ll exceed my former comment and view count with this blog.
I’m still a beginner blogger, a toddler. But I’m optimistic that Olaedo will get positive responses.
Don’t hesitate to drop me a comment and tell me what you think about my blogging journey. I’d love to meet new people!
As consistent readers of my blog will notice, for some time now, I’ve been writing majorly on relationships and stuff like that. I’m going through that phase in my life when being in a relationship makes up a huge part of the things around me. Well, maybe not ‘being in a relationship’ per say, because that in itself is a broad topic. It’s more like having someone to lean on, understand you, and share intimacies with. Yeah, that’s more like it.
In my blog post Learn How to Stand Before You Start to Lean on Someone Else, I talked about how, as a teen, it’s best to be independent and gain a footing on who you are before you start looking for ‘the one’, because even though you’re only young once, there are plenty of years left to fall hopelessly in love.
At the moment, I’m reading this e-book named P.S. I Still Love You by Jenny Han. And that book’s making me see how complex ‘love’ or ‘being in love’ can be. It’s making me yearn for – y’know – ‘love’ of my own. But these yearnings of mine are false, I can tell. It’s just what books or movies with romantic edges do to people. But it’s also made me realise something: Americans don’t care much about how many boyfriends a girl has had, they don’t care as much as we do about going down under. They only care much about going down under (by ‘down under’, I mean having sex) with someone who is worth it, not just some cheap player.
In high school, (let me just compare it with secondary school) they’re already talking about love. But what I like about the way they talk about it is that they don’t rush to tell each other that they love each other; they make sure they really are in love. But in the meantime, they kiss and get all touch-touchy.
Of late, I’ve been thinking a lot about relationships, how unreal 90% (or more) of secondary school relationships are. Honestly, there’s no actual love in secondary school. Yeah, sure people can fall in love in secondary school – I’m not saying that’s not possible. But love is only love when it’s being shown without restrictions.
I say I like the fact that Americans don’t rush to say that they love each other because love – real love – is a complex thing. In my definition, it isunderstanding someone, never wanting to hurt or let hurtful things come the person’s way, making sure you are always there for the person, supporting the person in the most important aspects of their life (even if to you, those things are not too important), being the best part of them, the person that encourages them to be good and positive with lots of advice, being their support in any weather. Note that in all the things I’ve listed out here, I haven’t mentioned anything physical about love, because physical things only make love more enjoyable – but they aren’t what makes love what it is.
I used to say that there’s in use in having a boyfriend in secondary school because you guys will never be able to do the things that a real couple does without being labelled as ‘bad children’. It’s also no use because if either of the two move away, or go to a university that’s far away, it’s almost the same thing as the relationship has ended. They might make promises of fidelity and loyalty and say a lot of “I’ll wait for you” ‘s, but it’s easier said than done when you go to new place and meet new people. Even though, I know, true love never dies – it just grows cold for a little bit.
But all in all, being in a full-blown relationship in secondary school is not very possible if you don’t care about what it will do to your reputation (if you’re know as a goody-goody, a respectful and obedient church-person), your academics (if you aren’t very good at planning and drawing the line between emotion and academics), your relationship with God (if there is any solid one).
But I think I’m making it seem like having a boyfriend is something bad in all ramifications. Sorry for that impression, because it isn’t bad in all aspects. It’s okay to be floaty and undefined with that friend of yours you like, because when you’re undefined, you don’t have any real commitments or obligations to each other. You both can relate with each other without worrying about who’s watching or who’s saying what, because you’ll have the satisfaction of mind that you aren’t doing anything wrong.
And if you’re worried about the other person starting to like someone else, you guys can always talk about that. Talk about whether or not you guys will be okay with you having other people you like. (It’s okay to do that, because treating your feelings for someone they don’t mean anything isn’t necessary if you both know that you really like each other and being a couple sometime in the future is something you both can see happening and are working for at present, in small ways. In the meantime, though, no matter how sure you both are, don’t get physical).
If you guys can wind the secondary school and foundation years over and still like each other, you should be sure that you both then love each other. And from there, other steps can follow.
It’s more important to arrange the things in your life than to please anyone else. You don’t have to live up to other people’s expectations before you know that you are worth something.
Just because you are a star student, a church-girl/boy and an all-round good person in your neighbourhood and family, that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t have experiences that are important to your life. Again I refer to my blog post, Learn How to Stand Before You Start to Lean on Someone Else. There, I wrote about how I got a taste of seriously dating (without getting physical, of course), but backed out when I found out that I wasn’t ready for that. I wrote there that I had a lot of other things to focus on than bending to make a relationship work.
By that experience of mine, I write this blog post with a lot more experience and first-hand knowledge. Although I am kind of a star figure in my family, school and social circles, I did not choose to not live the experience (notwithstanding the fact that it started out unassumingly and blew out into what it was). It now serves as a personal point of reference for the future where need be.
As a closure, let me say this: Live your life so that one day in the future you will not feel wasted. Tell yourself that you don’t want to be all grown up one day and begin to count all the guys that have gone down under. Live your life so that at a point in your life, you will not feel like there’s nothing precious and untouchable about you anymore because you’ve let it all go. Let the innocent years be the innocent years, and let the adult years be the adult years.
Yeah, this is a childish outlook – it’s a very childish outlook. But it’s those innocent moments in your life, those things you did and said back when you didn’t know anything, that will make you flush and blush and smile when you remember them years later, when you must have grown older and wiser. I relish these innocent years, these innocent feelings. And you should too.
Loving my share of innocent years,
P.S. Don’t forget to follow Olaedo on social media for updates on blog posts, drop a comment and share!
I was in a dilemma recently – a personal/emotional/spiritual dilemma, actually. It was like I knew what my problem was, but I was trying to hide it from myself, I was trying to mask it so I wouldn’t confront it. I think I had a good enough reason for not wanting to confront it: I didn’t want to hurt somebody’s feelings. Now, I won’t go all nitty-gritty on the details, for my safety and the safety of those involved, but I will pick out what I’ve scavenged from this.
I have very strong views on dating and teen relationships. For me, teens shouldn’t be dating. Why? Look out for my blog post on the subject, coming soon. But I thought that at my point in life, with only a year left to be done with secondary school, I could give being ‘a girlfriend’ a chance.
Normally, I think that if two teens like each other, they shouldn’t hide their feelings from each other. What they should do is know that going into a full-blown relationship is a big step, a big step that requires physical and emotional commitment. I would normally say don’t get into any physical commitments (like kissing and touching in certain places and stuff like that) because understanding yourselves and learning what makes the other tick is more important– and that’s what I believe in.
But all that can only be applied if the person you have feelings for understands your point of view. Not many guys, not many girls would want to take it slow; as slow as not touching, as slow as not hugging, as slow as not kissing. For some people, it’s childish not to express your feelings physically, but the truth of the matter is that taking it slow, especially at teenage is the right thing to do because the two teens have the opportunity to focus on and build other aspects of their lives – without worrying whether or not they’re paying enough attention to their boyfriend or girlfriend – they can get used to each other as they lay the foundation of their would-be relationship on friendship – the most important part of any relationship, mind you. I really get into the details of this in my blog post on this very subject, which, as I said earlier, you can check out soon. But taking it slow at this age is the best approach you can ever take.
So, back to me. Well, after a period of trying and failing and trying and failing and trying and trying and failing, I finally realized that:
I am an independent person and I love it. I don’t take pride in depending on anyone for anything – most times, even my parents. And because of this, bending myself to make someone else happy or to meet someone else’s needs at this stage of my life when I must establish my independent characteristic more firmly is purgatorial. Working towards my dreams without having any attachments to weigh me down is my ideal, it’s a thing I don’t find hard to do.
But, hey, this isn’t a one-size-fits-all. Not everyone likes being self-governing, not everyone likes to work alone, not everyone likes to do things without having someone closer than a friend to lean on when times get tough. Being independent is my style.
But I wouldn’t have realised this about myself if I had not taken the time to build myself without any distractions. I advise you to do the same if you’re yet to be able to stand brazenly and verbalize your personality. Take the time to find out the kind of person you are, what you like and dislike, what makes you happy and what doesn’t, the kind of people and things you’re interested in and the ones you’re not interested in, the unique way God speaks to you and the way you respond when He speaks (because, amazingly, God shows us things and speaks to us based on our personalities, in the way we can realise it and understand).
I’ve just penned down the outline of an experience in my life I don’t want to forget, an experience that showed me that the right time for a relationship is when you know yourself, when you can fight against anything to make sure it doesn’t try to change the good parts of your personality, when having a boyfriend or girlfriend will not cause you unrest of mind or won’t make you feel guilty, when you’re sure that even if you get on the relationship train, it won’t affect your career or your life’s goals.
In the time when I was still failing and failing and trying and failing and failing and trying and trying… whatever, you understand my point. In the time of my unrest, I came across my scriptural pillars for this year. And they helped me, in the measure they could, to realise what I pledged to stand by this year. Here they are:
My Scriptural Pillars for 2021
Galatians 6:4-5 – – – > “Make careful exploration of who you are and the work you have been called to do and sink yourself into that.” – The Message Bible.
Luke 6:27-38 – – – > “Be merciful, even as your father is merciful.” – The Revised Standard Version Bible.
Philippians 2:14-16 – – – > “Light in a dark world.”
Philippians 2:8 – – – > “Fix your thoughts on what is true and good and right.”
Philippians 2:4-7 – – – > “Be full of joy.”
Hebrews 12 – – – > “Keep your eyes on Jesus, our leader and instructor; let God train you, for He is doing what any loving father does for his children.”
2 Corinthians 4:8-10 – – – > “We are pressed on every side by troubles, but not crushed and broken.”
Proverbs 27:1-2 – – – > Don’t brag about your plans for tomorrow – wait and see what happens.”
Psalm 34 – – – > “The Lord is close to those whose hearts are breaking…”
Proverbs 27:10 – – – > “Never abandon a friend.”
UNLESS OTHERWISE STATED, ALL VERSES WERE GOTTEN FROM THE LIVING BIBLE.
These helped gain back a bit of my strength, but I truly became at peace with God and with myself when I said it to myself that I was not ready for a relationship yet. And following this, I severed the girlfriend-and-boyfriend ties. Now my mind is quiet, my vision is clearer, and my heart is light and free.
With that said and done, thank you for tuning into this blog post. I urge you to put into practice the things I laid out here, according to your own personality. If you loved this blog post, be sure to look out for posts in the Teen Talk category, where I talk stuff like this and more. Follow Olaedo on social media to be sure you get updates… and share!
A whole week has gone by since I last worked on a blog post (school stuff’s been keepin’ me down), but in this blog post I’m bringing to the table something I am certain is worth the wait.
Since Olaedois a blog by a teen, for teens, and is made of teen-centered content, in this blog post I decided to feature someone I met recently at a football match I was present at. He’s a Gabonese-Nigerian named Franklin Mve, who has become a close friend of mine over time.
Before the football match in question, I had caught a glimpse of him at a previous match somewhere. But then I was just a spectator amidst spectators, and Franklin was just a player in a team of players. Never thinking I would meet him again, I was surprised to see him at a friendly football match held at Pearville School.
That day, I was present at the match as a reporter for my school’s press club – I was in full reporter mode. Being no football critic, but knowing a good player when I see one, I can say that Franklin is a gifted player, as he showed immense prowess on the field. The students and even the teachers of Pearlville School let him know that too after the match.
Needing to know more of this gifted player, I had a chat with him and found out a lot more than I expected:
From a Nigerian father and a Gabonese mother, Franklin Mve Ikemba Franck was born on June 26th, 2005 in Libreville, Gabon’s capital.
In Gabon, his keenness in football began from a very early age, as he started playing small-scale matches when he was only nine years old. He continued this way and grew up to play for football clubs in his home country. To be precise, FC Boca Gabon from 2014 till 2017, Seantos Football club from 2017 till 2019, Irumba FC from 2019 till 2020.
I got to know that he’s in Nigeria only for a short time. But while here, he hasn’t dropped the ball – literally. He’s been playing for the football club, Campos Nigeria since he came here in 2020.
And it gets better. When he’s not killing it on the field, he definitely stuns with his gorgeous pictures on Facebook and Insta . On the sidelines, he’s working on building his TikTok following as he makes scores of eye-catching dance videos (he’s actually an awesome dancer, I’ve found). Take a look at some of his Insta photos:
Like all young footballers, he dreams big. He dreams of European leagues, dreams of playing internationally for Nigeria or Gabon. He dreams of getting into the big leagues and competing with the football titans.
And he’s well on his way to getting there.
To finish up, this article is just the little shot I’m taking in helping my friend get into the limelight as the footballer he aspires to be. It’s one of my bull’s eyes as a person to see young people like me their best – their Gold – with a little help from time to time.
Let me ask it again: Are intelligent people socially awkward? I’m glad curiosity dragged you to this blog post. Welcome.
We all know our levels of intelligence; we all know how ‘book-smart’ we are. Still, it isn’t uncommon to notice that most intelligent people, people with high grades, tend to find it hard to make friends and be active in group or one-on-one conversations.
Although this fact isn’t true for all brainy people, it is true for a handful. In this blog post, I’ll show you why most intelligent people seem to be socially awkward, and show you, if you’re in the brainy category, that you don’t need to think much when it comes to socializing, because it’s all a question of impulse.
So, the answer you’ve been waiting for is: YES, smart people are socially awkward, because:
Smart people are quiet.
Well, first of all, all smart people (or at least 95% of smart people) love reading books. Many smart people find more comfort in reading a book, gaining knowledge or just reading a story, than in talking to people.
Most smart people are quiet due to the fact that in order to learn and understand, you must be quiet. Smart people have mastered this art of shutting up and letting the knowledge flow in. This skill is amazing in academic and intellectual areas, but not too super in social settings. Smart people find it hard to be relevant in conversations because they are too quiet. And because being quiet paves the avenue to think and rethink, they often find themselves thinking and rethinking their utterances. They think: “This would be good to say.” And are just about to say it when someone else chips in something, and then they think: “The moment for this has passed, it would sound stupid if I say it now. Maybe later.” And then, someone might make a joke, everyone laughs, and the ‘right moment’ to make your statement just never comes, till the conversation breaks up.
Smart People like to be smart
They like to improve their smarts with every opportunity they get, and talking to people who don’t talk about things that can help them, career-wise, academics-wise or success-wise is a waste of time. For example, small talk:
Hey, how far, na?
is not something they engage in, because it, in the actual sense, doesn’t really make any sense. But what they fail to know is that it is these small threads of conversations that aid human relationships.
In any conversation, they’d always want to put in something relevant. But in the case where the only relevant things they know of will not appeal to the group of people they are talking to, they’ll have nothing to say.
It is surprising to find that, smart people, notwithstanding how smart they are, never seem to have anything to say in real world conversations.
Due to the fact that meeting people as smart as they are all the time in the same space is a rarity, smart people many a time have to deal with people that are lower in intelligence than them, people that would find it boring to talk about exploring the world, innovations, theories and whatnot. In such circles of people, they will often be lost, because territory such as fashion trends, celebrity news, around-the-town gossip will be new to them. The truth is, there aren’t as much smart people as there are average and below-average intelligent people in our societies, so smart people will often find it difficult to find people who talk about ‘things that make sense’, and not just fads and ephemerals.
Many intelligent people have gotten to that point where they see beyond trends, and have realised the things that make the world tick, the things that make people stand on top of others. They must have read a lot of books on success and the keys to success, and they don’t want to ‘waste their time’ talking with people who they know they’re are above in intellect, who have the tendency to bring them down, won’t talk about the things they like to talk about, won’t talk about the ‘things that make sense’.
Smart people approach being social like an AI robot would.
They think that there is a fixed pattern for social interaction. They think that there is an ultimate approach to a conversation that will work in any scenario. But that’s wrong. For every set of people, for every scenario, the conversational approach will always be different.
Just like in anyone else, there is a constant fear of failure.
It’s normal for people to feel downhearted when they’ve tried something for some time and are still failing at it; the same is to smart people. In the case where they’ve tried to be social, and they keep failing, they start avoiding social settings, asking themselves, “What’s the point?” And because of this, they avoid social settings they’re not used to, or ones they have established that they are no good in.
Truly, what’s the point? What’s the point of going to that outing, that get-together, when you don’t have any friends, when you find it hard to start a conversation, when it seems like everyone talks about things that don’t interest you?
Personally, I know how it feels to walk into a place, see people in small groups of their own, and wonder where on earth to start. You walk up to a bunch of people who seem promising, listen a bit to what they’re talking about and find that you can relate with that. In the course of the conversation, you chip in something… and everyone is just quiet and looks at you. (I hate that thing e!). That’s a real pain, especially when you put a lot of hope on that statement. You might then feel awkward and ‘un-part’ of the conversation, since a statement you made didn’t get the response you hoped it would get.
Well, I’ve learned that just because you made a statement that didn’t get the laughs or remarks you hoped it would, that doesn’t mean that all the people in the group didn’t like what you said. Sometimes, it just means that they don’t know how best to reply to your statement. And if you look at this in another way, it can be a cause for unrest in its own self, because you might think: ‘They didn’t know how to answer me because what I said was stupid.’ Yeah, it probably was. But it’s these ‘stupid’ statements we make that will help us figure what type of utterances work with what types of people; and it is these continuous lessons that will help us become better socialites.
So, keep getting into social settings, keep being yourself, keep making comments in conversations. Not everyone will like the smart, quiet, sometimes shy person you might be, but those who will turn out to like you for who you are should be the people that give the courage to continue trying to find out your own unique way of being social.
Hey, smart guys, you are smart – and that’s a gift. You may not be the best at being social, you may not always be the ‘life of the party’. But know that all the knowledge in the world, every book ever written will never be able to replace the satisfaction of being around friends that makes us human. Whether you never seem to have anything to say in conversations or find it hard to make friends, start changing today, remembering that social skills must be learnt with practice, and being social has little to do with saying ‘the right thing’ at ‘the right moment’.
Interactions are more than paramount to me. Let me know how helpful this post was to you in the comments section below!
The beauty and glory of natural African hair can never be over-emphasized. While some people choose to relax their hair just to tame the coily locks that are ours, some others choose to sport their ebony ‘fro and look good while doing it.
But then, have you ever wondered why certain hair products work for a friend of yours but not for you? Or why your hair is kind of ‘elastic’, while most people you know don’t have ‘elastic’ hair? Well, the answer is simple: Difference in hair types. In this blog post, I’ll lay out the different natural hair types, which are determined by curl patterns, hair porosity, hair density, diameter and so on, so that finding out the right hair care approaches and products for your hair won’t be so hard anymore.
Your hair density is determined by the number of single strands on your hair. There are three types of hair densities, and to know your hair density, you can carry out this simple mirror test:
Take a section of your hair in your hand and look in the mirror.
If you can see your scalp, you have thin hair density.
If you can see only a little of your scalp, you have medium hair density.
If you can barely see your scalp, you have thick hair density.
Hair Structure or Diameter
Hair structure refers to the thickness or width of your hair strands. Your hair strands can be fine, medium and coarse or thick. The structure of your hair determines the way your hair will hold certain styles or react to certain hair products. You can figure out your hair structure by:
· Considering how well your hair holds a hairstyle.
Fine, thin hair is predominantly delicate and thus cannot hold most hairstyles very well. Medium hair is a lot thicker than fine hair and can hold hairstyles better and longer. And coarse hair can hold styles the longest, but it is the hardest to style among all the hair structures because it is less bendable or flexible than they are.
· Carrying out the thread test.
Take a strand of your hair and a piece of sewing thread. Place them both on a flat surface and observe.
If your strand of hair is thinner than the thread, you have fine hair.
If your hair is far thicker than the thread, then you have coarse hair.
Medium hair falls between being fine and coarse.
· Checking with your fingers.
This one is by far the simplest. Take a strand of your hair in-between two fingers.
If you can hardly feel the strand’s presence, then your hair is fine.
If you can feel the strand slightly, then your hair is medium.
If the strand’s presence is well-defined and unmistakable, then you have coarse hair.
The porosity of your hair is defined by how well your hair absorbs or retains moisture. The type of hair products you should use will be a reflection of the porosity of your hair. Your hair porosity can be determined by taking a strand of your hair and placing it in a cup.
If the strand sinks to the bottom of the cup, your hair has high porosity. That means that your hair easily absorbs moisture and hair products. Hair is of high porosity because of the high number of pores and rips in one’s hair cuticle. These breaks and tears cause the hair to give off moisture more than usual, thus making the hair often dry, frizzy, rough and never hydrated enough. Hair of this nature is most prone to damage, as it easily absorbs all products and their chemicals.
People with highly porous hair should avoid hairstyles that involve heat (like stretching or hot-combing), blow-drying and products with high chemical compositions, as all these de-moisturize one’s hair. Rather, air-dry your hair, use oils, leave-ins, hair masks and products made with natural ingredients, all to seal the hair cuticle and keep your hair as moist as it can be.
If the strand of hair is submerged in water but does not reach the cup’s bottom, then your hair is of medium or normal porosity. Hair with normal porosity is often wet but not sticky after washing, holds in just the right amount of water, and does not require a lot of maintenance and frequent moisturizing.
If the strand floats above the water’s surface, then your hair is of low porosity and takes very long to dry. For hair with low porosity, the hair cuticle lays flat, has fewer pores and blocks moisture from being absorbed into the hair strands. When you wash or apply products to your hair, the moisture in them does not sink in, but stays on the surface of your hair, thus making your hair often feel wet or sticky.
Your biggest concern in this hair type is product buildup, and that is why you should apply products to your hair while it is still damp, to make sure they are well absorbed and dispersed evenly in your hair.
Each hair porosity type has its own demands, so the moral of this is: if you meet the demands of your hair type, there will be nothing to worry about.
The greasiness of your hair outlines how often you should wash it and whether or not you should use clarifying shampoos and conditioners (for oily hair, which builds up residue faster). So without further ado, you can determine your hair greasiness this way:
Wash your hair and let it air-dry before going to bed. When you wake the next morning,take a tissue and dab it at your scalp (hair at the back of your ears and near the crown of your head are good places to check).
If the tissue picks up a large amount of oil, you have oily hair and an oily scalp. You need to wash your hair 4 to 5 times a week to prevent buildup.
If an oil patch big enough to be barely noticeable is seen, you have normal hair and a normal scalp. You should wash your hair 1 to 2 times a week.
If no oil was noticed on the tissue, then you have dry hair and a dry scalp, your hair lacks moisture. Make frequent use of moisturizers to keep this fact in check.
If oil was only seen in certain places in your hair, then you have combination hair. Hair behind your ears and above your temples secretes high amounts of oil.
The extent to which your hair strands can stretch before they return to their origin length or break describes one’s hair elasticity. Hair elasticity is a superb indicator of healthy hair.
Determining your hair elasticity can be done by plucking out a wet hair strand and stretching it till it reaches its maximum point.
If your hair stretches all-out and doesn’t break immediately, then your hair has high elasticity. Elastic hair is the healthiest and strongest of all the hair types, and it is known fact that when wet, it can stretch up to 50% its original length before breaking. Girls with coarse hair structures often have elastic hair.
If your hair stretches to a point and then breaks, then your hair has medium elasticity. A majority of girls and women have been found to have hair of medium elasticity, but your hair can be strengthened with oils and natural hair masks.
If you hardly even begin stretching your hair before it breaks, then your hair is of low elasticity. Your hair is chiefly bendy and breakable. Choose your hair products wisely, making sure that they are not of harsh chemical composition, but strengthen hair cuticles.
There are basically four types of curl patterns: straight, wavy, curly and coily or kinky, and even these hair types have sub-divisions (as you can see from the diagram above). The tilt of your hair follicle coupled with the way it grows into your scalp all play a role in determining your hair’s curl pattern. Here’s a visual illustration in case you have no idea what I just said means. (You’re welcome):
Now, let’s delve into the types of hair, according to curl pattern, proper.
TYPE 1: Straight Hair
Straight hair does not possess any curls, thus is flat and straight from its roots down. Its texture is predominantly soft and silky, and it is very shiny. Girls and women with straight hair often have fine hair. The super-success of this hair type is also due to the amounts of natural oil secretion it is adorned with.
TYPE 2: Wavy Hair
Wavy hair is halfway between being straight and being curly. Its curls start towards the end of the hair, while the hair is straight from that point up. This hair type has a rough texture, a thick diameter, and is sub-divided into three:
· 2a – THIN WAVY HAIR
· 2b – MEDIUM WAVY HAIR
· 2c – THICK WAVY HAIR
TYPE 3: Curly Hair
Curly hair has s-shaped curls that stay s-shaped no matter the amount of straightening. It is higher in density when compared to straight and curly hair, and is more likely to frizz and tangle easier than they do. It is also sub-divided into:
· 3a – HAS LOOSE CURLS
· 3b – HAS MEDIUM CURLS
3b –HAS TIGHT CURLS
TYPE 3: Coily or Kinky Hair
Kinky hair might look rough and abrasive, but it is actually very fragile and soft. Kinky hair is prone to breakage if not well taken care of. Coily hair is of high density and is made up of tight z-shaped curls. It is as well sub-divided into three:
· 4a – SOFT COILY HAIR
· 4b – WIRY COILY HAIR
· 4c – EXTREMELY WIRY COILY HAIR
And without delay, I think I have the right to lift my fingers from the keyboard at this point. Having read this article, you can now make better hair-care choices in respect to your hair type, so you can keep your ebony locks looking as alluring as they’re meant to be.
I may not have graduated from secondary school to university before, but I certainly have a taste of the feeling. It is leaving childhood, leaving teenage and moving into young adulthood. Wow! At this time, many schools have already held their graduation ceremonies, and some schools are yet to hold theirs. All the same, I wish all who are graduating this year a happy graduation!
I’m being very particular about those leaving secondary school because I believe that’s the pinnacle of all graduations in a child’s life. I can remember the air of the day on the graduation ceremony of one of our SS3’s. Skeleton Move by featuring Master KG was played that day, and the lyrics stood out to everyone:
No matter where you go, remember the road that will lead you home… that will lead you home.
No matter where you’ll go from the threshold of teenage, remember who you are, remember what you’ve been promising yourself that you will make out of your life for as long as you can remember, remember the friends worth keeping – those who have had a hand in shaping you into the person you are today – remember your values and principles, remember the road that will lead you home – the place where you can always find warmth, inspiration and comfort.
‘Home’ might be different things for different people; it might just be the place where your family is, it might mean the place where you can be with those who make up the best part of you, it might mean a place you know you can always feel refreshed when you visit it, or might be the place, the moments when you connect and talk with God one-on-one.
“Home is where your heart is,” as the saying goes.
Underneath all the hysteria, joy and exuberance of this time in the life of a person FINALLY leaving secondary school, there is still that feeling of sadness at leaving, and a longing for a replay of those times when you were just a care-free child. Those in this category know how true this is.
As a person who holds wise sayings in high regard, I leave you with these sayings I picked up from here and there. I hope that they give you the strength you need to begin the new responsibilities that will soon begin to be laid on you, the inspiration to always be and never be ashamed of who you are or to change to be a better person if need be, and the reminder you need to “…never forget what is [or those that are] worth remembering or remember what is best forgotten.”
“There’s something so special about a woman who dominates in a man’s world. It takes a certain grace, strength, intelligence, fearlessness, and the nerve to never take no for an answer.” —Rihanna
“You can’t do it alone. Be open to collaboration. Find a group of people who challenge and inspire you. Spend a lot of time with them and it will change your life.” — Amy Poehler
Remember this: You are awesome. I’m not suggesting you be boastful. No one likes that in men or women. But I am suggesting that believing in yourself is the first necessary step to coming even close to achieving your potential.” —Sheryl Sandberg
“No matter what happens in life, be good to people. Being good to people is a wonderful legacy to leave behind.” —Taylor Swift
“It’s hard to beat a person who never gives up.” —Babe Ruth
“I’ve learned it’s important not to limit yourself. You can do whatever you really love to do, no matter what it is.” —Ryan Gosling
“It is better to be a failure at something you love than to be a success at something you hate.” —George Burns
“It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are.” —E. E. Cummings
“A WOMAN WITH A VOICE IS, BY DEFINITION, A STRONG WOMAN.”
– MELINDA GATES
“The best remedy for those who are frightened, lonely or unhappy is to go outside, somewhere where they can be alone with the sky, nature, and God. For only then can you feel that everything is as it should be and that God wants people to be happy amid nature’s beauty and simplicity.” —Anne Frank
“Take your risks now. As you grow older, you become more fearful and less flexible … Try to keep your mind open to possibilities and your mouth closed on matters that you don’t know about. Limit your ‘always’ and your ‘nevers.’ Continue to share your heart with people even if it’s been broken.” —Amy Poehler
“There are no regrets in life — just lessons.” —Jennifer Aniston
“The meaning of life is to find your gift, the purpose of life is to give it away.” —Joy J. Golliver
“I can’t think of any better representation of beauty than someone who is unafraid to be herself.” —Emma Stone
“It’s the choice. You have to wake up every day and say ‘There’s no reason today can’t be the best day of my life.'” —Blake Lively
“Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.” —Dr. Seuss
“You will stumble and fall, you will experience both disaster and triumph, sometimes in the same day. But it’s really important to remember that like a hangover, neither triumphs nor disasters last forever.” —Helen Mirren
“It is impossible to live without failing at something, unless you live so cautiously that you might as well not have lived at all – in which case, you fail by default.” —J.K. Rowling
“Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can.” —Arthur Ashe
“It is often easier to make progress on mega-ambitious dreams. I know that sounds completely nuts. But, since no one else is crazy enough to do it, you have little competition. There are so few people this crazy that I feel like I know them all by first name. They all travel as if they are pack dogs and stick to each other like glue. The best people want to work the big challenges.” —Larry Page
“You can’t climb the ladder of success with your hands in your pockets.” —Arnold Schwarzenegger
“In response to those who say to stop dreaming and face reality, I say keep dreaming and make reality.” —Kristian Kan
“If you can’t outplay them, outwork them.” —Ben Hogan
“When someone who loves you hugs you, hug them back with two arms—don’t do the one-arm hug, because when you hug someone with two arms, it allows you to lean on somebody, and we all need someone to lean on.” — Sandra Bullock
“Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.” —Thomas Edison
“As you graduate, as you deal with your excitement and your doubts today, I urge you to try and create the world you want to live in. Minister to the world in a way that can change it. Minister radically in a real, active, practical, get your hands dirty way.” —Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie
“Dreams are lovely. But they are just dreams. Fleeting, ephemeral, pretty. But dreams do not come true just because you dream them. It’s hard work that makes things happen. It’s hard work that creates change.” —Shonda Rhimes
“You don’t go to university so you can punch a clock. You go to university so you can be in a position to make a difference.” —Janet Napolitano
“You’re only given a little spark of madness. You mustn’t lose it.” —Robin Williams
“I am here to tell you that whatever you think your dream is now, it will probably change. And that’s okay.” —Conan O’Brien
“In this life we cannot do great things. We can only do small things with great love.” —Mother Teresa
“The road to success is always under construction.” —Lily Tomlin
“You are about to start the greatest improvisation of all. With no script. No idea what’s going to happen, often with people and places you have never seen before. And you are not in control. So say ‘yes.’ And if you’re lucky, you’ll find people who will say ‘yes’ back.” —Stephen Colbert
“Now go, and make interesting mistakes, make amazing mistakes, make glorious and fantastic mistakes. Break rules. Leave the world more interesting for your being here.” —Neil Gaiman
Happy graduation, from me to you.
Although it’s kind of post-dated, check out another of my blog posts on graduation: